In life, most people dream of having a successful relationship but don't have it because as much as they desire it, their actions don't match their desire. Most people expect their relationships to be like the relationships displayed in Hollywood movies but in reality that rarely happens. Life is not a movie in which you have a second chance to act the scenes. Successful relationships don't happen just by merely wishing. Your choices and actions determine the outcome of your relationship. These are 5 lessons to learn from successful relationships.
Be honest, brutally honest. That is what's going to maintain relationships. -Lauryn Hill
1. Start With A Plan
A plan is very important important in a relationship as it is very important in other areas of life. Where do you want your relationship to go? What do you want out of your relationship? Most times, we get caught up in the minor things in a relationship that we forget about the main thing. We get caught up on all the exotic dates, what to wear that we fail to attend to the main thing which is how to sustain our relationship.
Share your expectations with your partner and findout if they are aligned with theirs. Findout if your plan fits in your partner's plan. It's better to be face the pain of leaving the relationship while the relationship is young than when the relationship has grown.
2. Honesty
When someone we are close to tells a lie to us, it hurts more not because of what the person have said but due to the emotional attachment we have with that person. Trust is difficult to make but easy to break. When you lie or tell half-truths to your partner, you breach the trust in your relationship. A lie needs committed for it to be kept. Every lie you tell your partner will be need a couple more lies to back it up leading to an
exponential increase of your lies.
Be honest to your partner. The truth hurt sometimes but it's important to say it. Telling lies in your relationship only brings short term fix. You sacrifice the future of your relationship for the present. What will happen when your partner finally discovers the truth? Most times, the truth told early can save a relationship than a lie that gets exposed later.
3. Explaining Yourself
Always explain yourself to your spouse. Assumption is the mother of all misunderstanding in a relationship. Sometimes, we often make ourselves feel victimised by assuming that our partner understands what we are going through. We want our partner to be able know how we are feeling, hug us when we need a hug and when our spouse doesn't meet up to our thought, we make our partner the vilian.
Don't assume that your spouse will always know what you are going through. Your partner might be sensitive enough to observe there is a difference in your behaviour sometime,
but not everytime. Tell your partner how you feel and make your partner understand you.
4. Seek To Understand first
Have you ever said something harsh only on hearing half the story and after hearing the full story you wish you could take back your words? Most times we often let our emotions get the best of us and we fail to do the simple most important thing; listening. You can't understand your partner if you don't listen attentively. Your partner won't always tell you everything. Sometimes, important information about the wellbeing of your partner can only be obtained when you listen carefully.
5. Not Saying Things That Does Not Matter
Most people create future problems in their relationship by saying things in which is of no use to their relationship. Your past might not have gone smoothly so bringing up the events of your past in your new relationship won't do your new relationship any good. Words are like seeds which can never be taken back when spoken. Each word spoken to your partner is a seed sown which will germinate and yield fruits. The fruits totally depends on what you have said. Telling your spouse about the mistakes you have made in your past relationship is sowing a bad seed which will lead to negative results.
Follow this rule: if it is not necessary and it is not important, don't say it. Don't mistake carelessness for honesty. Somethings are
better not said. Don't tell your partners things about yourself in which you will regret after you have said it.
The Floor is Yours
Some lessons have been mention but it is time forbus to hear from you. Share with us other lessons which can be learnt from successful relationships.
